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Post by wren on Nov 17, 2006 22:28:16 GMT -5
Today there was a little boy, who couldn't understand where Charlie had gone, or why he didn't want to come back, what had we done to make Charlie not want us anymore. I hid behind a shed where I simply came unglued, I was on my knees because I couldn't figure out how to answer him...I didn't know how to translate it into an answer he could understand when I'm not even sure I understand it myself. My stomach muscles are sore...Never cried so hard since the loss of my first daughter. I'm so sorry. When my dad died, people told my kids it was 'God's Will'. I wanted to smack the lot of them! I told Ben and Ellie that it was just his heart that stopped. He had no say in the matter. That no one would ever choose to leave them. That grownups don't know, either, and say anything to make themselves feel better... Give yourself a wee bit of a break here. It's only been one day.
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Post by Lady Anastasia on Nov 17, 2006 22:30:58 GMT -5
Hugs to you John... Trying to explain to the little ones is always hard... I'm so sorry sweety.. wish I could say more
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Post by Senbecc on Nov 17, 2006 22:43:59 GMT -5
Hugs to you John... Trying to explain to the little ones is always hard... I'm so sorry sweety.. wish I could say more Theres nothing anyone can say, theres nothing anyone can do...I've been thrust into a sink or swim situation and the only one who can save me in it is me. I tried to fall back on someone but they wern't willing to catch me, so that won't be a mistake I will make again. Though make no mistake, I know who my freinds are. I know those who have tried to help and have proven their freindships with something other than one liners.
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Post by wren on Nov 17, 2006 22:46:57 GMT -5
*wren lays out very, very, very strong net to catch you*
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Post by Senbecc on Nov 17, 2006 22:57:35 GMT -5
*wren lays out very, very, very strong net to catch you* Its so hard to breath sometimes, there has been so much pain that has led to this moment, and Charlie's death was another part of the lesson. The problem is I feel like I need his help...But he's gone, I need his wisdom, but all I have is my own. This has amplified every emotion that came before it by a thousand, all that has been lost before Charlie has been re-lost with his passing, and now I must deal with not having him to fall back on...
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Post by Lady Anastasia on Nov 17, 2006 22:58:42 GMT -5
Hugs and Love and Light....
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Post by wren on Nov 17, 2006 23:00:08 GMT -5
Can you be a little patient with yourself? It has only been one day. You know what you would say to me right now?
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Post by wiccafairey on Nov 27, 2006 9:02:14 GMT -5
WOW>>>I CANT FIND ANY OTHER WORDS TO SAY
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