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Post by wiccafairey on Apr 25, 2007 8:14:38 GMT -5
i was telling my friend (the ex) some new rules in the house.....I shouldnt be on the computer or cell after 5-6 at night..spend time with him.(this i can understand).....e-mail male friends insteed of calling them.(i was on the phone with a guy friend who is gay and BF got mad and said i was cheating on him.ok it was every day but he is gay i didnt see a probmle)..and he said something that really hit home...he said "you used to be a strong woman ,what the f$#@ happened to you" "stand up for yourself"...and he is right....i dont fight for myself with my BF i alway cave in and say fine.   if that was a just about anyone else i would have told them off .... maybe i need to find myself again...this is not who i am or want to be...i think to do this i may need to leave the bf. what do you think? |
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Post by wiccafairey on Apr 25, 2007 8:16:46 GMT -5
REMEMBER there are two kids at will be affected here.
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Post by KittyLane on Apr 25, 2007 21:45:30 GMT -5
Well from personal experience, it is so very important to know yourself. I feel like I am not going to be the best mother possible to my children otherwise. So as of recently I have been doing that. And surprise surprise, I am happier. Thus so are my children.
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Post by tahlia on Apr 25, 2007 23:03:13 GMT -5
I think you need to decide if you are going to stay with your BF or not and do something towards your goal either way. If you're gonna stay then you should want to spend time with him and it shouldn't be an inconvienance. If you're gonna leave then quit letting him make the rules for you and do something to get out of there. I don't know you, I don't really know the situation but from what I have read about this I think you just need to commit. Make a choice and go after it with some passion. Best of luck to you in whatever choice you make.
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Post by wiccafairey on Apr 26, 2007 6:39:49 GMT -5
seems like thing HAVE TO go his way or no way but when he thinks im going to leave hes starts being all caring.
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Post by tanath on Apr 26, 2007 12:22:58 GMT -5
the way someone acts when they've done something wrong shouldn't be what you make decisions on. the wa they act everyday is who they really are. jsut because he brings presents or whatever when you want to leave doesn't mean he wants to change. make your decision on rather or not to leave based on how he acts in normal day. if you aren't strong and make a point to be true to yourself then you're teaching your kids that it's ok for men to boss women around and control thier lives nad that women should do anything a man says and be weak. is that what you want to teach them?
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Post by tahlia on Apr 26, 2007 13:43:09 GMT -5
seems like thing HAVE TO go his way or no way but when he thinks im going to leave hes starts being all caring. He sounds a little like an ex of mine. When I finally made up my mind and left he had the nerve to tell me I owed him another chance because he was unaware that I was serious before and he hadn't understood that he was on his last chance! I was like I'm supposed to take you back based on the fact that you're a moron who doesn't take me seriously? Psh! He was so not helping his case with that arguement. I'm a much happier person now. I'm not saying you will be happier if you leave him...just sharing my own experience. Follow your heart and you will be fine sweetie. |
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Post by wiccafairey on Apr 26, 2007 16:27:11 GMT -5
so true tahlia...after 8 years of saying he doesnt want to get married-- NOW he wants to...just cause he thinks i am on the way out...i am leaveing him...that I know just not sure how.....
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Post by Senbecc on Apr 26, 2007 18:52:08 GMT -5
i was telling my friend (the ex) some new rules in the house.....I shouldnt be on the computer or cell after 5-6 at night..spend time with him.(this i can understand).....e-mail male friends insteed of calling them.(i was on the phone with a guy friend who is gay and BF got mad and said i was cheating on him.ok it was every day but he is gay i didnt see a probmle)..and he said something that really hit home...he said "you used to be a strong woman ,what the f$#@ happened to you" "stand up for yourself"...and he is right....i dont fight for myself with my BF i alway cave in and say fine. if that was a just about anyone else i would have told them off .... maybe i need to find myself again...this is not who i am or want to be...i think to do this i may need to leave the bf. what do you think? I agree with Kitty on this, when you're happy the kids are going to be happier too. I think that even in a relationship both parties need some measure of privacy and freedom. If there is no trust between people then they can't really coincide together for long IMO. So if you mean to stay with the BF then I think that may need to take priority. If however you mean to leave him, then I think he should be made aware of that as well. Either way find yourself in what ever avenue you choose. I think that once you find yourself happiness will follow. |
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Post by wiccafairey on Apr 27, 2007 6:31:00 GMT -5
thank you to ALL of you..I DO NOT have any SUPPORT here which is why I am asking here..You all have helped a great deal.
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Post by tahlia on Apr 27, 2007 22:44:34 GMT -5
Well I'm not sure how much help I've been but you are certainly welcome hon. I never could have made it through my breakup without all the great people who live inside my computer! lol
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Post by Senbecc on Apr 27, 2007 23:36:36 GMT -5
thank you to ALL of you..I DO NOT have any SUPPORT here which is why I am asking here..You all have helped a great deal. That's what we each have come together to do WF, as this site is built on the idea that without each other...We are alone. You are more than welcome, thanks isn't necessary. Good luck in which ever path you choose! |
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