Post by KittyLane on Mar 30, 2007 20:27:52 GMT -5
One for the ladies
>
>One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-
>shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to
me,
>"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
>
>"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
>
>He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."
>
>And they say blondes are dumb...
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
>A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
>
>"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
>
>The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
>"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out
>of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if
I
>mowed the lawn like this?"
>
>"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
>Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
>
>A: A rumor
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
>A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
>wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them
and
>said that because they had been so good that each one of them could
have
>one wish.
>
>The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
>
>Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
>
>The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
>
>Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
>
>Gotta love that fairy!
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
>Dear Lord,
>
>I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
>Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll
beat
>him to death.
>
>AMEN
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>------------------- -
>
>Q: Why do little boys whine?
>
>A: They are practicing to be men.
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
>Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
>
>A: Trustworthy.
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
>Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
>calling your name?
>
>A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
>Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
>
>A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
>Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
>
>A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
>
>One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-
>shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to
me,
>"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
>
>"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
>
>He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."
>
>And they say blondes are dumb...
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
>A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
>
>"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
>
>The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
>"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out
>of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if
I
>mowed the lawn like this?"
>
>"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
>Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
>
>A: A rumor
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
>A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
>wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them
and
>said that because they had been so good that each one of them could
have
>one wish.
>
>The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
>
>Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
>
>The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
>
>Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
>
>Gotta love that fairy!
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
>Dear Lord,
>
>I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
>Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll
beat
>him to death.
>
>AMEN
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>------------------- -
>
>Q: Why do little boys whine?
>
>A: They are practicing to be men.
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
>Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
>
>A: Trustworthy.
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
>Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
>calling your name?
>
>A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
>Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
>
>A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>
>Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
>
>A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"