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Post by wiccafairey on May 14, 2007 11:12:56 GMT -5
ok so my bf is realizing it is over. now he is saying he is not responable for what happens if i go. all talk maybe but i am not sure..he has a VERY bad temp. and has said he could not deal with me with someone else. thinking of an restreaning order. do i leave,kick him out or get the order and stay here until the court says who stays
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Post by blackwolf on May 14, 2007 12:46:19 GMT -5
Me Dear Wiccafairey: This is coming from a Alpha Male Wolf, who is a natural dominant, yet I respect the Goddess, and Woman, with all my Heart, and Soul...I have no former knowledge of Thee, or your situation, yet if this be true, here is what it be Wise to do...
1.Call your network of friends, and family, with no possibility of him knowing, or walking in, while you are doing so ( friend's house ? )
2.Call local Woman's Abuse Center / Shelter ; Get all information, regarding verbal / physical abuse, let them know what is happening
3.Consult with them, friends, and family, about restraining order, and your options of shelter, during this process...You will find greater support, than you may have ever dreamed...
4.Do you have any strong, trustworthy relatives, or friends, who are male? If you do choose to go, a team of two, to three each , male and female assistants, is a formidable "moving" group... and shows you have those who will witness for you, and give support...Most abusive men, will not want to mess with that show of strength, and observance...It is in Silence, and Alone, you are most vulnerable... Blessings, and keep us posted...
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Post by stormcat on May 14, 2007 13:52:51 GMT -5
The varmint is using psychology on you. "Leave and whatever happens is your fault." Wrong he's responsible for his own actions. Get that restraining order, kick him to the curb if that's what you Reilly want. But if you go back to him, he'll treat you worse then he does now. Just be cautious, please. >^..^<
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Post by Lady Anastasia on May 14, 2007 14:09:09 GMT -5
I have to say I agree with Blackwolf and Storm....
If you feel unsafe, kick him out... Start the process for the restraining order now... Stay with friends or family or have someone stay with you...
Women's shelters are an extreme, but, they are actually quite safe... They would be able to help you get the legal paper work that you need, but, you would be limiting the contact that you have with friends and family that way... So, I would hope that your support system of close friends would be where you go now....
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Post by wiccafairey on May 14, 2007 15:30:31 GMT -5
thank you all. just may go to the courthouse tuesday.......
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Post by KittyLane on May 15, 2007 7:50:48 GMT -5
I think you need to take action As Soon As Possible! You are not only having to think of yourself here, but your children.
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Post by tanath on May 15, 2007 15:22:42 GMT -5
i know everyone else already said it, but i'll say it again. do whatever you have to to make sure you and your kids are safe. if that means kicking his ass out and getting a restraining order, then do it.
you aren't responsible for anything he decides to do, he is. he's effectively giving himself permission to do whatever he wants by telling you, and himself, that it'll be your fault because you "asked for it" and he "warned" you. it's a technique used by many people who commit violent crimes.
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Post by blackwolf on May 15, 2007 20:59:34 GMT -5
I, For one, am glad, so many of us, are saying the same thing, one way or another; Sometimes, it needs to be heard from many, in many different ways, and by many different people, to get through the pain, and sorrow, of a " Failed Relationship/Lost Love "; Yet, there is no true Relationship, no true Love, when one acts in this fashion...I heartily agree, with Tanath, and Stormcat's forcefulness...And, Kitty, and Anastasia's, wise words. And, I am so glad, you are getting support, from your Sisters...That is one of the greatest gifts, a Woman has....Blessings, and Strength...
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Post by wiccafairey on May 16, 2007 19:58:18 GMT -5
......going to legal aid to see what to do..
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Post by KittyLane on May 16, 2007 20:44:18 GMT -5
With all this drama you could have a blog! Best of luck, if you need anything please let us know.
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Post by wiccafairey on May 17, 2007 6:31:16 GMT -5
yeah...should make one.
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Post by Lady Anastasia on May 17, 2007 17:09:07 GMT -5
......going to legal aid to see what to do.. Great idea... Keep us updated please
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