I did it My Way.....

[nevyn]

I've never really kept a journal or a blog spot, so this is new to me. I am an ecclectic person as anyone who has followed my postings can see, so I'll probably be ecclectic on the upkeep of this blog. If you are reading this, you are interested in me and my opinions.

I do need an area where I can put my readings and keep track of them, so you'll probably see lots of readings and lots of images from my real life.

Let's start with a quiz...very accurate at that!

You Are 15% Left Brained, 85% Right Brained



The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.
Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.
If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.
Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.
Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.
If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.
Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

www.blogthings.com/areyourightorleftbrainedquiz/

[nevyn]

deep cleansing breath. I'm trying to spend my morning alone (for the next hour and 1/2 before work) to get my tarot mission statement reading done so that I can continue with my studies. I haven't been able to take a minute out from mommy/wife mode for Jen time. I really want my own room where I can shut the door and have it REALLY mean don't knock, don't open. Casey and I don't get that luxury anymore, we have the common areas, we have our shared room. I want a study/magic room/library type thing. The girls get their own rooms, and they don't even pay rent....I want to be a kid again! Oh, well, when we win Mega-buckets or something and get that Million I keep wishing for, I will get what I want, I guess.

I've not had anything to eat, and I want to try to get this meditation done while I am empty so that i can go have breakfast! * grumble grumble*...my stomache agrees! Let's see if it works today....

[KittyLane]

it is the hardest thing for moms: alone time!

[stormcat]

Only when they're little, when they're teenagers you can never find them! Then as young adults, they find there way back again. Then a whole house of grandbabies, spouses and in-laws show up. It's an endless circle or circus!>^..^<

[nevyn]

the owner of the Dunkin's that I work for came thru yesterday while I was working to do an inspection. Just working as I normally do, I get called into the back room so that he can tell me what a wonderful job I was doing and that I am definately management material. Hate to tell him that I've managed 2 portrait studios successfully for a combo of 5 years, I could do this standing on my head. I don't want to. I hate being corporate's puppet and I don't want the responsibility. But it's nice to be recognized for good work.

[nevyn]

WHITES are motivated by PEACE, seek independence and require kindness. They resist confrontation at all costs. (Feeling good is more important than being good.) They are typically quiet by nature, they process things very deeply and objectively, and they are by far the best listeners of all the colors. They respect people who are kind, but recoil from perceived hostility or verbal battle.WHITES need their quiet independence and refuse to be controlled by others. WHITES want to do things their own way, in their own time. They ask little of others, and resent others demanding much of them. WHITES are much stronger than people think because they dont reveal their feelings. WHITES are kind, non-discriminate, patient and can be indecisive, timid, and silently stubborn. When you deal with a WHITE, be kind, accept (and support) their individuality, and look for nonverbal clues to their feelings.

Take this quiz!


Quizilla | Join | Make a Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code
this is SOOOOOO true!

[nevyn]

filed my taxes today....already spent as soon as I receive it....such is life when you are poor.

[nevyn]

I've been contemplating this blog. How personal do I get? I want it to be a reflection of my spiritual journey. But how do I do that without worry of backlash? Let me explain.

Ever since I began living with my partner, he has had a lack of regard for my private thoughts. Whatever it is I write down, either in journal sense or in e-mail sense, he feels that he has the right to read it. I've had my private thoughts thrown back at me as support of his arguments, and have gotten in serious trouble with my actions that he would not have known if he had not invaded my private e-mails and saved My Space correspondences. (I'm not condoning my actions, they were wrong. Period.) The invasion of my privacy has been a big issue with me that he just will not acknowledge as a problem, as it brought about the knowledge of my "bigger" mistake. And he condones it by saying that he has to find out things about me this way. I don't tell him these things. btw... I don't tell ANYONE but myself these things, dip shit! That's why they're PRIVATE!!!!

I pretty much have come to the conclusion that if he finds it necessary to invade my diaries, my book of shadows, my private letters to friends, my automatic writing and my e-mails, both sent and received, he'll find this site. If he goes to that much trouble to find it, he's going to have to deal with the repercussions of getting my completely bare feelings and thoughts. I don't think it will come to that though. If it does, then the Goddess wants me to deal with it then.

I don't trust him enough to be able to put in a public forum my experiences without having to censor myself. So, do I write what I think and feel in my journey? Much of it has to do with how I deal with him and our issues and how it impacts my spiritual side.

*shrug* deep breath....I'm going to just trust that I can be myself, use this as a reflection of myself, and bugger him (as my favorite character on Dead Like Me so aptly says) and his reactions to my ramblings. I'll be damned if I hold myself back for a great, but flawed, guy that I am not always sure I should still be with in the first place. Have we fulfilled our contract? Or do we have more to learn from each other? I am really giving it the "ol' college try" for the sake of our relationship and our kids, but there are times when I think that I'd be better off alone. But am I running away again? I'd have the same amount of headaches, just different kinds.

[nevyn]

another day another dollar. oh, well, at least the state's refund for my taxes came in today. I can get some bills paid and some food in the house without having to worry about missing something....this week....then the federal will come in and we can get caught up with most everything. Let's see if c. can get off his ass and get some kind of job. He says that he'll work fast food for a few months to get income and then when the spring landscaping starts, he's going to go do that for a while. Let's see how far this one goes. I'm not planning on leaving DD's anytime soon.

[nevyn]

Why can't I speak more? Why is it that every witty comment that I have or every retort that I get in an arguement cannot pass my lips? I am ever so flippant and sharp in my mind and I just cannot seem to get it out. It's always there, more so when I care about the person that I am dealing with. Anything that smacks with controversy, I just clam up. I don't want to...I can feel the pressure and I just cannot get it out.

I feel the same way in my spiritual journey. I just cannot figure out how to be able to do the things that I believe are possible. Why am I blocking that as well? Why did I make it so hard? What am I supposed to be learning in all this?

What ever it is, I wish that I could figure it out. I ask for signs every day, and I get them, but just little "hello, yes, We're here"s, but I receive no answers, helpful ones at least. I'm just so tired of being clueless; steering without co-ordinates; flying blind....take your pick.

And I'm tired of being bad with details, of being ADD, of losing track of time or focus....

oh, well....enough belly-aching. Life goes on and bills need to be paid. I've got to become "Customer Service" woman and paste on that smile.

[KittyLane]

I hear where you are coming from, about it all. We have so many bills its like whats the point? If I get another job, it will just be paying for daycare. Plus I worry so much about my kids, I just might lose my mind. Our tax refund is already gone to, and we have yet to see it. (car needs fixed, tires on the other, and baby bills!)

My husband respects my privacy, probably because I gripe at him when he is being to nosy. As for my path, he does not get it, and by that he does not fully support me. I would love to have in depth conversations with him about what i have learned and how I am applying it to my life.

I have to keep this part (pagan) of my life private from so many people, its almost like its bad. Like I am a kid stealing candy.
I have had so many lightbulb moments since becoming pagan. I know that it is right for me. I am taking the steps to be worthy of it.
I was told that you could find your path, and not be able to walk it, because of your load being to heavy. I thought a lot about this. I had a lot of baggage. So I began to unload those bags, and so many good things are happening for me. It is scary letting go of those bags, but also so relieving. To let go, it frees you.

I don't know if any of this helps, but I felt that you and I might be in similar situations.

[nevyn]

thank you....sounds like it...i want to sit and type away, but morning stuff calls. maybe this evening during the stupid simpsons...father/daughter ritual, I'll be able to put more down. I just wanted to say that it sure does sound like we are alike in many ways. and thanks again for the response. i think its nice to know someone is there, even if it's separated by 2,000 miles.

[nevyn]

You Are 80% Open Minded



You are so open minded that your brain may have fallen out!
Well, not really. But you may be confused on where you stand.
You don't have a judgemental bone in your body, and you're very accepting.
You enjoy the best of every life philosophy, even if you sometimes contradict yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

www.blogthings.com/howopenmindedareyouquiz/

[nevyn]

another week starting. my oldest has been feverish and sick since Friday, and being poor I don't have insurance to bring her to the hospital. we are too poor to pay for insurance thru my work, but aren't poor enough to qualify for MassHealth.

The lower class in America cannot get good medical care because of the friggin insuance companies and the lack of concern of the rich for the poor. I wish that one of those rich fuxs in DC could experience the worry of a mother who's child probably has Strep, but cannot afford the doctors visit and the cost of the medicine, therefore almost guaranteeing the child gets sicker and her class sick as well. We'd have subsidized health care in a week.

So off to work with the worry of a sick kid at home, so therefore partner cannot go out and try to find work, again. We remain poor. Must be my path. fuck

[KittyLane]

i hate to hear that. health insurance is a must, and its so hard to get. and so damned expensive! you pay the per month, and all the copay's. then bills from all the crap you insurance will not pay for. for example: my baby had RSV, and needed a breathing machine. i asked to rent one, they said no you dont have to, pay the 25 dollar copay and you get the machine to keep. OK, i do and still get a 228.97 bill. yay.

so i know what you are going through my friend. my bro in law is almost bankrupt because of some unknown spinal disease. and all the meds, and treatments are not even helping.

chin up, the sun will come back out.